"The" Manager

The manager of a large corporation suffers a heart attack and the doctor tells him to go to a farm to relax. The guy goes to a farm, and after a couple of days he is very bored, so he asks the farmer to give him some job to do.

The farmer tells him to clean up all the cow manure. The farmer thought that for somebody coming from the city, working his whole life sitting in a plush office, it will take him over a week to finish the job, but to his surprise the manager finishes the job in less than a day.

The next day the farmer gives to the manager a more difficult job: to cut the heads of 500 chickens. The farmer is sure that the manager will not be able to do the job, but at the end of the day the job was done.

The next morning, as most of the jobs in the farm were done, the farmer asked the manager to divide a bag of potatoes in two boxes: one box with small potatoes, and one box with big potatoes. At the end of the day the farmer saw that the manager was sitting in front of the potatoes bag, but the two boxes are still empty.

The farmer asks the manager: "How is that you made such difficult jobs during the first 2 days, and you cannot do this simple job?"

The manager answered:

"Listen, all my life I've been cutting heads and dealing with crap, but now you ask me to take decisions!"

Footprints.... in the life...!

One day a man was having a conversation with God when his whole life flashed before his eyes as a series of footsteps on the sands of time. He saw that there were two pairs of footprints, but during the most difficult periods of his life there were only one set of footprints.

He asked God "You said you will be with me throughout this journey, but why have you deserted me during the most critical times of my life??".

God answered "Son, I did not desert you, I was always with you...you see only one set of footprints because during those difficult times in your life, I was carrying you in my hands"

But in my office..
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Another day I was having a similar conversation with my Project Manager (PM) when my whole project flashed before my eyes as a series of footsteps on the sands of time.

I saw that there were two pairs of footprints, but during the most difficult times in the project there were only one set of footprints.

I asked my PM "You said you will be with me throughout the project, but why have you deserted me during the most critical times of the project??"

PM answered "Dude, I did not desert you, I was always with you...you see only one set of footprints because during those difficult times, I was sitting on your head!!"